One Theory on Pain in Our Lives

One Man's Theory on "a" Reason for Life Pain

A couple years ago, I felt a pop near my sternum and what I thought was a sudden drop in blood pressure. I felt dizzy, sort of spaced, and didn't know if maybe this was the end. Before this point, I'd felt pretty healthy and never really considered much in terms of a shortened lifespan. This event led to EKGs that pointed to likely heart attack(s). I spent a few days admitted into the hospital following these tests and was really unsure of what was to come. In my heart, I was ready for eternity, but didn't really want to leave my family. As testing proceeded, including CTs, a stress echo, heart rhythm monitoring, more EKGs, 25+ blood draws, and a cath lab, the conclusion was that here was no heart attack, nor blockages, but that RA (rheumatoid arthritis, which I didn't even know I had) had been attacking my vital organs. I had felt major fatigue for a couple years and many joints had been been in extreme pain intermittently, but I had no idea why, until this day in time. Blood tests showed RA was off the charts high. Now I understood why I hadn't been feeling well since 2020. 

As the two years have gone by since that testing, there has been no improvement in the pain that comes and goes or lessening of the almost constant fatigue. There are times that this fatigue challenges my pride and attempts to give me a sense of worthlessness, since I'm not able to accomplish goals like I could have in the past. As I've read about the disease, I find that this is common and that depression can be a result. I've chosen not to let this happen. I've come to the conclusion that worth isn't goals accomplished or hoops I can jump through. Worth isn't impressing others or having a set of ducks in a row. What is worth? Well, its simply what God thinks of us. God thinks so much of all of us that even though we were sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

Now to bring back into focus the title of this post, I think I have discovered (first hand) one explanation for the pain life brings us. As I've felt more pain and struggled with fatigue, I've become less attached to my physical life. I've always said heaven is my home and that my treasure is not on earth, but that's become more real as my body has degraded and I've become helpless to do anything about it, even with medical treatment. Sure, I've prayed about it. I've had others pray for me. This is coming from a person who's been healed and has seen others healed by the power of God. I believe that I've seen God return life to a person in my arms without a heartbeat. It's not that I don't have faith that God can heal my sickness. I believe that it's by His stripes we're healed (both physically and in forgiveness of sin). I believe that the God who was all powerful in the Bible, is still all powerful today. On the other side of that coin, I also know that God is sovereign. We can't make God do anything. I know that we live in a fallen world and that death awaits each of us because of the fall of Adam. 

To summarize this post, pain can loosen our grip on this physical life and give us a greater longing for eternity with our Savior. Is He your Lord? If He isn't, what are you waiting for? You will not live forever. There will come an end to our bodies and to our pain. Eternal life is what we should be living for. Sometimes what we see and wish we had or could accomplish clouds our vision. Let go and cling to what you can keep! Life is short. Eternity is... well, it's eternal. Make Jesus Lord of your life. Give up your own will and surrender to God's will. Read the gospel of John and pray that God will open your eyes to what you're reading. I believe He will!

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